


Rabbit Food for Me and You

by Insanefangirl



Series: Mental Health with Team Free Will [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eating Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Older Sibling Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Sam Winchester Has an Eating Disorder, season fourteen spoilers, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insanefangirl/pseuds/Insanefangirl
Summary: Sam blames himself for the fate of the other world refugees. He can’t bring himself to eat. Dean can’t bring himself to let his brother suffer aloneSeason fourteen spoilersTrigger warning for eating disorders
Relationships: Sam Winchester & Dean Winchester
Series: Mental Health with Team Free Will [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889341
Comments: 3
Kudos: 101





	Rabbit Food for Me and You

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t own supernatural/characters

1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, Sam focuses on his feet hitting the pavement. He carefully controls his breathing, inhaling and exhaling completely. 

Everything burns, or at least everything would be burning, if he didn’t feel so light headed. His mind is a little foggy and he relishes the pleasant soreness of it all. 

He rounds the corner and is almost sad that the bunker is coming into sight. He feels like he could run forever. He wants to run forever, but he’s already been gone two hours. 

“Hey,” Dean is sporting the deadman’s robe and a bed head while making pancakes in the kitchen. “Perfect timing, pancakes are done.” 

Sam eyes the plate his brother his sets for him. Just the sight of it is nauseating, Sam can’t imagine putting that in his body. He resists a gag as Dean plates for himself and suffocates his pancakes in syrup. 

“I’m okay.” Sam reaches for an apple from the bowl. 

“Dude, they’re pancakes.” Dean says it lightly, but Sam knows he’s raised a red flag. 

“I’m just not hungry after a run. I’ll eat more later.” Sam promises. He knows it’s a lie. 

Dean lets it go for now. Sam doesn’t push it. He quickly finishes his apple and tells Dean’s he’s going to go shower.

After his shower Sam digs himself into lore books. He reads about archangels and possession and other dimensions. He had promised those people he’d send them home. Instead he sent them to their graves. His stomach turns his apple at the thought. 

Dean sits across from him and researches too. His brother drinks a beer, then two before he states he’s going to make lunch. Sandwiches. Sam’s stomach turns some more at the thought. 

“What do ya want on your sandwich, Sammy?” 

“Oh, um,” Sam thinks about the sparsest, least nauseating combination. “Just cucumbers and tomatoes.” 

“Sam,” Dean looks at him disapprovingly. 

“And cheese.” Sam adds to appease his mother-henning brother. 

Dean still doesn’t look happy but walks to the kitchen anyway. Sam releases a breath. Stomach turning at the thought of a sandwich. 

He’s never able to keep this up long.   
In the bunker it’s harder. Dean knows, Sam could never keep much from his brother. 

Sam remembers when Dean found out. He hadn’t been eating much after Jess died, same symptoms where food makes him want to puke and he relishes the light headedness it gives him. His brother had tried force feeding him a burger and Sam had immediately spewed it all over the motel. 

They never had a chick-flick, as is Dean’s style, instead his brother adjusted to Sam. Really it is kind of a miracle how Dean could figure out what Sam needed without verbal hints. 

In the week that followed Dean stocked their motel mini fridge with fresh fruits and vegetables. He bought whole grain crackers and carrots for the road instead of chips, jerky, and candy. A dozen large water bottles were bought instead of another twelve pack of beer. 

Normally this would only last a couple of weeks before he was back to eating chicken wraps from diners and his brother’s homemade burgers. Now he is pushing a month and a half. Dean’s worried, he can see it, and it hurts but he can’t do anything about it. 

He’s tried. He tried eating a couple fries from a diner and he had puked them up not five minutes later in the bathroom. He even tried drinking a smoothie with fruits and yogurt to get his blood sugar back up, that had gone straight into the sink. 

Dean won’t let him hunt like this, regardless what he wants. Sam sees his brother getting more restless with everyday. It amazes him how Dean can be so domestic and still crave to hunt and get back to the road. At the moment he thinks it’s guilt pushing his brother, guilt for not keeping Michael in. No matter how restless Dean is, taping his foot as he tries to focus on the lore book in front of him, he won’t let Sam hunt like this. 

When Dean leaves saying he’s going for a supply run five hours after lunch, Sam is grateful. It gives him time to dispose of the pancakes from breakfast Dean had left aside for him and his other half of sandwich -Dean had tried to sneak in mayo and that hadn’t gone over well with his stomach. 

An hour later his brother came stomping back into the bunker with arms full of bags he wouldn’t let Sam help him with and immediately went into the kitchen. He hear from him for forty-five minutes. 

“Sam, soups on!” Dean calls. Sam grimaces and wonders if Dean will let him get away with skipping dinner. “Sam, move your ass.” Nope. 

Sam huffs but marks his place in his book and heads to the kitchen. He can’t smell anything as he walks down the halls. 

Turning the corner to the kitchen his jaw drops at the sight. On the table is a large salad bowl. That’s it. There’s no meat or simple carbs to be seen. 

Dean is already eating, his plate holding a generous serving of salad. Sam’s seeing a red flag waving high in the air. 

“Dean?” Sam asks, approaching the table but not sitting yet. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. The produce section was on sale so I figured I’d mix it up a little.” Dean shrugs like him eating salad isn’t like spotting a four leaf clover. 

Sam cautiously sits. He eyes the salad warily. It’s not a simple Caesar salad. There is lettuce, spinach, kale, cucumbers, tomatoes, sunflower seeds, and almonds. It looks okay. There’s no smell to upset his stomach yet. 

He puts a little on his plate and pokes a fork at it. His brother is trying not to stare from across the table. He takes a hesitate bite. 

He looks up at Dean who is shoveling salad into his own mouth. Sam’s bite stays down. He lets out a cautious breath of relief. 

Dean talks to him after that first bite. He complains him about the insane gas prices that keep rising. He describes this guy at the store who had loaded his cart to the brink with condoms. He tells him about a mom in the store who had a kid wearing only Superman undies and a red t-shirt tied around his neck as a cap. 

Sam listens and finds himself absentmindedly eating. Soon he finds he’s done with his serving of salad. Dean is smiling like he hasn’t in along time. 

Sam can’t think of eating another serving, but he’s eaten more at once then he has in a long time. He helps Dean with the dishes. 

“It’ll keep for a couple days.” Dean says, referring to the salad he’s putting in the fridge. 

“Yeah.” Sam agrees as he finishes putting the cleaned and dried dishes away. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” His brother asks. 

That night they watch two movies. Dean makes unsalted, unbuttered popcorn Sam eats a few handfuls of. That too is put into a baggie and saved. 

He falls asleep on his brother’s shoulder with a fuller stomach and clearer head then he has in a long time. It’s not perfect, but it’ll do for now. 

“We’ll get through this, Sammy.” Dean says as Sam drifts off for the night. “One damn rabbit meal at a time.”


End file.
